sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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