I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
