her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize