My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
