Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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