you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
