I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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