I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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