I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize