Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My feet surprised me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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