im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
