meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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