dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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