how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
