Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
