You just made me feel so damn special
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
