I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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