before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
