Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
