Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
