Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
