I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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