I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
