Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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