I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
