There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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