someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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