I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
