no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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