Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
