u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
