; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
