I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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