i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
