All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
