it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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