uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
