bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I supernannyed him into submission
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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