It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
