if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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