6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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