hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
