Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
