i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
