i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
