Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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