Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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