i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
