weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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