Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
