So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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