I hope my margaritas pass through security.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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