For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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