I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
