): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
