I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need moral support for this bender
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
