Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
