Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
