No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
