Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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