can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
