You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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