Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
