whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
