The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
