therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
