Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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