feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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