Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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