pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
