You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
