saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize